“Aesthetic success”

Something can be good without it being aesthetically good.

A realisation that I had last year is that something can be good without it being aesthetically good. I got this new wisdom when I was reflecting on my summer and how although it was good, I had nothing “aesthetic” to show for it – i.e., nothing to post on social media that would prove to others that it was a good summer for me. The phrase “aesthetic success” came up in my conversation with Rita and I think it perfectly encapsulates the point I am trying to make.

It’s difficult to be content with your reality when you are constantly bombarded with pictures that remind you of what you don’t have.

Social media majorly contributes to this idea of “aesthetic success”. It fuels a desire to prove to others that your life is full of amazing experiences, even if internally you are empty. It also perpetuates the need for our successes to look a certain way: going on an expensive holiday, new outfits, a relationship. Although such things are not inherently negative, it can make those who do not share in this reality feel as though their lives are not “good” – which encourages habits such as living beyond your means. I have to admit, it’s difficult to be content with your reality when you are constantly bombarded with pictures that remind you of what you don’t have. It really does take an intentionality, and something I have started to consider when it comes to social media is my why. In other words, what is my reason for being in this space. Does it add any value to my life? Am I becoming more of who I was created to be? These are questions that I would encourage more people to ask themselves, as my relationship with social media has drastically changed since (for the better!).

“You’ll reach success if you achieve the goals you wanted to achieve and not someone else’s”

Jeff’s episode

The whole premise of this platform is to encourage the notion that success is not linear, neither is it rigid – rather, it is a concept that is open to interpretation. What a successful life consists of should depend on what you genuinely value, not what you are being told or being pressured into valuing. As Jeff said in our conversation: “You’ll reach success if you achieve the goals you wanted to achieve and not someone else’s”.

Of course, it does take a certain privilege to go after what you genuinely want. However, as far as your current predicament will allow you to, it is best to live according to what fulfils you, what makes you feel whole – more like yourself. That way, you will not be sacrificing the substance of who you are for the aesthetics. There is more to life than the aesthetics.

Note to self: my success does not need to look like success to you for it to be success… I’m successful.

Further reading

• Alex Banayan, The Third Door
• Social Dilemma, Netflix (2020)
• The Minimalists, Netflix (2021)